WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN THE MAN YOU WANT TO MARRY

If you're looking for the right man to marry, there are important things you should consider. Marriage it is one of the most important decisions you will make in your lifetime.

Here are ten great indicators you should consider for selecting the man you will spend the rest of your life with, and depending on your beliefs, even an eternity.

1. Notice how he treats his mother, grandmother, sister, and children. It might sound cliché, but it is true. When you're a wife and the ease of dating without responsibility has been replaced by housework and changing diapers, you'll want to make sure he is still the gentleman you first met, and not just a man fueled by the "fun" parts of life.

2. Look for promptness in showing up for dates and other scheduled events. Promptness shows respect for you and also demonstrates how responsible he will be in the workplace.

3. Be aware of the type of driver he is. Is he courteous or does he expect the world to move over for him? Often the latter-style driving reflects his personality under stress.

4. Look for similar religious backgrounds. It is a whole lot easier to solve future problems when you have similar priorities and commitments.

5. Be aware of his level of personal drive to be educated. Education is important for his ability to earn a living for you and your family. Look for a guy that is motivated to succeed in school.

6. Look for a man with a plan. It should be a complete turn off to ask a guy in his twenties, "What are your plans for the future?" and he responds with "Whatever," and turns back to his video games.

7. Notice closely what his habits are now. They will most likely be the same after you're married. If he loves video games now, he will later. If he loves hunting with his brothers over Thanksgiving now, he will still want to be hunting on Thanksgiving when you're married, no matter what your family traditions are.

The saying, "A man marries a woman and hopes she never changes, and a woman marries a man with the hope of changing him."

Do not marry a man you would like to change – you will both end up miserable. Let him meet another girl who is happy with who he currently is. Rather, find a man who is all you feel you need and can accept for who he is now.

8. Look at the whole picture. Can you cope with (hopefully love) your in-laws? They will be your family, so make sure you get along with them, or at least can forgive their flaws. You must realize no family is perfect.

9. Listen to your parents' (and other loved ones') opinions. Typically, they love you unconditionally and have no hidden agenda. They also know you better than the man you just met knows you. They are not blinded by "twitterpation." Do not let them make the decision for you, but seriously consider their opinion and why they say it.

10. Be willing to forgive. No man (or woman) is perfect. Do not lower your standards, by any means, but if he made mistakes and it is definitely behind him, be willing to let go.

Importance of Touch in Relationships

Our first impression of other people comes through our sense of sight, sound and smell. Our sense of touch, on the other hand, is something we hunger for and one of the best ways of communicating our feelings to others. Touch provides comfort and reassurance.

From the moment we are born we crave touch. It is the beginning of how we build self-esteem and a way to increase intimacy. In a romantic relationship, we go through stages of touch that play an important part in the increasing intimacy of the relationship.

There is a great deal of research on the importance of touch in healthy relationships. Studies have shown that by simply holding hands or rubbing someone’s back, you can lower stress levels, lessen anxiety and physical other disorders. There are noticeable changes in mood and even health when we’re exposed to simple human kindness in the form of touch.

Touch is an important method of communicating your feelings to your partner. It shows that you care, want to be involved and supportive. Touching someone lightly with your fingertips will communicate a personal language to the person touched. You will enjoy it as much as your partner and be aware of their absence when you’re apart.

Touching Your Date
Touch can be tricky you’re dating. Some people need their personal space, while others love to be touched. Some people love to touch and others don’t. This is when being able to read body language is important. Look for responses to your moves before advancing to the stage.

You may be seen as pushy or fast if you move too quickly to touch a new date. But on the flip side, move too slowly and you could frustrate your date. A touch must come at the right moment and in the right context. Try to be aware of your own desires and behaviors with touch.

Keep in Touch
Couples in crisis often reflect their discontent with less of the touch that is crucial to a relationship. When you’re relationship is hurting, it is important that you make some sort of physical contact every day - spontaneously hold hands or give a full body hug to your partner. Talk to your partner and if you feel there is something lacking in your life, make an effort to change. You may be surprised by the positive outcome.

Living Together Before Marriage – A Good Idea?

More than half (54%) of all couples who married between 1990 and 1994 began their relationship cohabiting together before getting married. By 2000, the total number of unmarried couples in America was nearly five million, up from less than half a million in 1960. Nearly ten percent (9.6%) of all couples living together were unmarried in 2007, according the U.S. Census. And for couples who have been married more than once, the rate of living together is even higher.

An increase in the number of couples who are cohabiting goes along with an increase in society’s acceptance. It was only thirty years ago that an unmarried couple who was living together were breaking the law. It was only a generation ago that it was considered a disgrace to shack-up; these couples were the rebels, the risk takers of society. Today those societal standards have gone by the wayside and nod and a wink is the typical response by friends and family to an unmarried couple living together.

Many people believe that living together is a good test run before committing to marriage, helping to lessen the inevitable marital problems. But moving in together means a commitment that goes deeper than many people realize - buying or renting a place together, getting a dog and sharing in an exclusive relationship. And couples who aren’t sure they want to marry will find it much more difficult to end the relationship.

Although it’s true that the overall divorce rate is higher among couples who have lived together before marrying, not in the way you probably think. A new study shows that the real risk is for those who lived with someone other than their eventual spouse.

Higher Divorce Risk
Cohabitation does not reduce the likelihood of eventual divorce; in fact, it’s associated with a higher divorce risk. Social research on the topic shows that the chances of divorce ending a marriage preceded by cohabitation are significantly greater than for a marriage not preceded by cohabitation.

A reason for this could be that the experience of dissolving one cohabiting relationship generates a greater willingness to dissolve one later. This may be similar to the effects of divorce; going through a divorce makes one more tolerant of divorce. Living together isn’t the cause, it’s the attitude of the people who are choosing to give it a ‘try’ before committing to marriage.

Infidelity and Aggression
Divorce may not be more prevalent in those who cohabit, but infidelity is, along with physical aggression. Women in cohabiting relationships are more likely than married women to suffer physical and sexual abuse. Aggression is fifty times more likely in live-in situations. Several studies found that women in cohabiting relationships are about nine times more likely to be killed by their partner than are women in marital relationships. Researchers theorize that marriages are held together by a strong ethic of commitment, while cohabiting by nature undercuts ethics with less commitment and a greater desire for personal autonomy.

Communication and Satisfaction
The assurance of a long-term commitment that comes with saying “I do” provides fertile ground for people to develop their conflict resolution and support skills. Cohabiting couples have less invested in the relationship and fewer reasons to work it out. They report lower levels of happiness, sexual exclusivity and satisfaction. Nearly 40% of couples living together will break up within seven years.

So whether you choose to cohabitate or not the benefits of committing to marriage are too numerous to ignore. Married couples experience better physical and mental health, happiness, longevity and production in the labor market. In addition, depression is three times more likely in cohabiting couples than in married couples.